“Then I’m quietly freaking out on the couch, eyes wide and breathing heavy.”
You perfectly described the situation that led me to start sketching daily. Before last year I would constantly find myself re-organizing the record collection, trying to find something to sell online, start a new band or recording project of some kind. It felt guilty to not be applying this time to something creative or connected to an extension of the creative arts I dwell in.
All of these things, even though I enjoy them, would take time away from my family. Once I started sketching, it began to alleviate some of that strange anxiety that would build. It became the way to fulfill the creative energy that felt so oppressive and would have me bursting at the seems.
Now, my sketch time is generally on the couch with the family and I can chat, spend time, quietly enjoy a movie or whatever may be taking place without feeling like I need to run out of the room to capitalize on a creative thought.
The fighting with the smoke slipping through your fingers describes how I feel when I start berating myself about what I should be doing or how much more I can be doing. At 69 I am tired if doing, and yet even art making or more truthfully, I put the most pressure if myself about making art. As though I need to justify being an artist by being productive. I know it isnt us, we are fighting the machine, but sadly it takes up so much creative time!
"It’s okay to have some time that doesn’t become anything." OOF this hit hard, and i immediately had to write it down because it's something i constantly need to be reminded of. I've realized that keeping myself busy busy has been a way of trying to cope with all the uncertainty in my life write and feeling more in control - which maybe isn't inherently a bad thing, but when it gets to the point where i always feel like i HAVE to be doing something, i know that's a recipe for burnout. i'm working on letting myself sit in the stillness more often.
You said it so well. I somehow learned that being productive is a sign of self-worth, and that having a product is more important than process. Then on top of that, I want to make something, but I'm like, "What is it for? Why?", as if it can't just be to do something creative. Then I also suffer from the zillion creative ideas, all take effort and time, time is limited spiral that ends up with not accomplishing anything and feeling bad about it!
“Then I’m quietly freaking out on the couch, eyes wide and breathing heavy.”
You perfectly described the situation that led me to start sketching daily. Before last year I would constantly find myself re-organizing the record collection, trying to find something to sell online, start a new band or recording project of some kind. It felt guilty to not be applying this time to something creative or connected to an extension of the creative arts I dwell in.
All of these things, even though I enjoy them, would take time away from my family. Once I started sketching, it began to alleviate some of that strange anxiety that would build. It became the way to fulfill the creative energy that felt so oppressive and would have me bursting at the seems.
Now, my sketch time is generally on the couch with the family and I can chat, spend time, quietly enjoy a movie or whatever may be taking place without feeling like I need to run out of the room to capitalize on a creative thought.
Thank you for sharing. This really hit home. 🤝
The fighting with the smoke slipping through your fingers describes how I feel when I start berating myself about what I should be doing or how much more I can be doing. At 69 I am tired if doing, and yet even art making or more truthfully, I put the most pressure if myself about making art. As though I need to justify being an artist by being productive. I know it isnt us, we are fighting the machine, but sadly it takes up so much creative time!
Totally agree. Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself I do this because it’s fun.
"It’s okay to have some time that doesn’t become anything." OOF this hit hard, and i immediately had to write it down because it's something i constantly need to be reminded of. I've realized that keeping myself busy busy has been a way of trying to cope with all the uncertainty in my life write and feeling more in control - which maybe isn't inherently a bad thing, but when it gets to the point where i always feel like i HAVE to be doing something, i know that's a recipe for burnout. i'm working on letting myself sit in the stillness more often.
It really is a catch-22 many of us experience. Wishing you more periods of stillness, knowing that in their own way, they later feed the work.
You said it so well. I somehow learned that being productive is a sign of self-worth, and that having a product is more important than process. Then on top of that, I want to make something, but I'm like, "What is it for? Why?", as if it can't just be to do something creative. Then I also suffer from the zillion creative ideas, all take effort and time, time is limited spiral that ends up with not accomplishing anything and feeling bad about it!